we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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