You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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