I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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