I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
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I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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