you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
