I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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