im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't think brook has ever known best
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
