Buhtt sex?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
