oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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