Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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