Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
