I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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