Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
