Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
