I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
