is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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