i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
