There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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