I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
