why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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