my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
