Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
