and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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