Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
