i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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