Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
