quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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