His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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