These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
