Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
