i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
