oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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