just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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