She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
