I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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