I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
