at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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