He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
