He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
