and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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