She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
