I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I love having hate sex.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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