Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
her vagine was all disorganized.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
