What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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