Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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