why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
