where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
