god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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