So drunk its hurt
I think my fart just growled at me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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