dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize