Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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