I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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