I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
