i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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