I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
