even my farts smell like vagina
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
