Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
