"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
