I want to have your abortion
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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